


The Chicken Suit

by fryes_jersey



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bets & Wagers, Ficlet, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, Not Beta Read, POV James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26829499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fryes_jersey/pseuds/fryes_jersey
Summary: Back at MIT, Rhodey made a high-staked bet about Tony sleeping with Captain America. It was high-staked because he didn't think Tony would actually have a chance at doing it.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 134





	The Chicken Suit

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for mild, PG-14-esque sexual references.

Rhodey has walked in on Tony more times than he wanted to admit. 

They shared a dorm at MIT, went on spring breaks together, trips to Vegas, Tony boasted the title _playboy_. The amount of times Rhodey has seen Tony naked in all sorts of positions has left him void of any embarrassment. But he hasn’t heard of Tony continuing these practices since becoming Iron Man. 

Which explains Rhodey's immense surprise when he walked into the Avengers Tower’s gym and saw Steve Rogers-- _Captain America_ \--pushing Tony down on the mats with the length of his body, hands keeping Tony's wrists pinned, and tilting his head to kiss Tony deeper. 

A memory hit Rhodey like a hard flick on the forehead. A night during their junior year at MIT. Rhodey and Tony recently finished midterms and they had an unexpected, introspective conversation. 

Between talking about his emotional hang-ups from Howard’s parenting and his fears of failure, Tony admitted to a childhood crush on Captain America. 

_“And, like,” Tony turned to his side to stare at the side of Rhodey’s face. “I still have dreams about him sometimes. Though, they’re not exactly kid-friendly anymore.”_

_“Dude,” Rhodey whined that shifted into a laugh. “Too much information.”_

_Tony cackled. “Ugh, but what would I give to have one night with Captain America!” he groaned, twisting onto his back again. “One night. Just to get it out of my system.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, and when you do that I’ll..." Rhodey sat up and paused. "Wear that stupid chicken suit you got me around campus.”_

_“Ooo, you place a bet on it?”_

_“Yeah, sure. Why not?” Rhodey held out a hand that Tony giddily clasped._

When Tony made a low noise and started spreading his legs wider for Rogers’ twitching hips Rhodey decided to break it up. 

Backpedaling down to midway of the hall, he called out loudly, “Tony? Are you in here?” 

Rhodey was barely a foot inside the gym again when Tony was there, grasping at his biceps to stop him from entering further. 

“Sourpatch, my dear,” Tony enthused, breath short. “What’s up? What brings you… here?” 

“I was looking for you. Did you forget that I’m staying here while I’m on leave?” Rhodey glanced over at Rogers. 

Rogers was turned away from them, rubbing the back of his flushed neck and staring at the corner of the ceiling. He looked one step away from whistling in forced nonchalance. 

“Yes! No! Yes as in, I do remember why you're here. For that,” Tony waved a hand, “that thing. Yeah, that MIT thing later this week. You wanna grab lunch? Great! Let me freshen up.” 

Rhodey opened his mouth to speak but Tony already escaped the gym. He already had a bad feeling about this.

“Uh, afternoon, Cap,” Rhodey called out and the man’s shoulders jumped as he whirled around. 

“Colonel Rhodes,” Rogers nodded, standing awkwardly. 

“Are you okay?” 

“What? Oh, I’m fine. I’m… good. Just… surprising things happening today.” 

Oh, this was the _first_ time this happened. Rhodey witnessed the breaking point… and interrupted it. 

Oops. 

* * *

Tony was fidgeting. (And _not_ in his typical fidget.) 

Rhodey watched as Tony kept scratching behind his ear, clearing his throat constantly, and fluttering his fingers with taking and replacing the restaurant's alcoholic drink menu from the table’s cardholder. 

“So... How’s everything?” Tony asked. 

“Good,” Rhodey nodded. 

“War Machine still good? Of course it is, I designed it. It's probably still perfect, isn't it? Wait, didn’t you say your mom got a new dog?” 

“Tony, you don’t want to talk about my mom’s new dog.” 

“Then what else can we talk about?” 

“We can talk about the thing you know I clearly saw.” 

“Yeah, I know that you saw. God, that’s embarrassing.” Tony buried his face in a hand. 

“Tones, this isn’t even the tenth time I walked in on you.” 

“Yeah, but most of that was in college. I was a mess in college— alright, a _bigger_ mess in college. And I didn’t see those people again. And I’ve completely stopped since Iron Man. And, like, this…” Tony leaned forward and lowered his voice, “this is Cap we’re talking about.” 

“You can’t tell me Cap is a prude with what I saw.” 

“It’s not that.” Tony took a deep breath to compose himself. “I mean that I don’t want this to be a one-night stand deal. I want more than that.” 

“Yeah, I know.”

Tony’s brow furrowed. “How?” 

_I know you, I have eyes, and I have cognitive thought to connect dots._ “Drunk phone calls. You still do those." 

Tony looked away and tried to find a specific memory that didn’t exist. “Alright, that’s fair.”

“And now you know that he definitely likes you, too.” 

“Need I remind you that I can’t handle relationships?” 

“You handle ours fine.” 

“Yeah, after working on it for over two decades and always groveling,” Tony muttered, flicking his crumpled straw wrapper off the table. 

“Tones… I’m serious.” 

“I am, too." 

"Can you at least tell me that you'll talk to the guy? That you won't leave this up in the air?" 

"I will." 

"Tony..." 

"I will!" 

* * *

Tony did not. 

Rhodey wishes he could be surprised by that. 

* * *

“I’m not letting you put speakers in War Machine,” Rhodey said, swiping the potential design off Tony’s holoscreen. 

“It’s for the dramatics,” Tony protested, swiping the design back. 

Another swipe for disappearance. “It’s not needed to combat.” 

"But I want you to have the--" 

“Tony?” 

“Cap!" Tony’s posture straightened and he turned to the entranceway, smiling at what he saw. "Steve. Hey." 

Rogers sprouted a handsome smile. "Hi." 

The sudden weight of being the third wheel draped over Rhodey. 

"What brought you down here, Cap?" Tony asked. 

"I was wondering if I could talk to you." 

An escape! "Oh, then I'm going to go get lunch then," Rhodey said. 

"No need, Honey Bear! I got lunch delivered. Actually, let me go get it from the lobby." One blink and Tony was gone. 

_Dammit!_ Rhodey risked a glance at Rogers. 

Rogers was glaring at the floor with a tick in his jaw and his fist clenched in a familiar ‘I-Want-To-Sleep-With-Tony-Stark’ tension. 

That’s it. Rhodey _had_ to provide an assist. 

* * *

So... he has never had to be a legitimate wingman for Tony’s love life before. Reluctance in matters like this has never happened. Tony's confidence in this field was in buckets. How do these things even go? 

_Hey, Steve! You know my buddy, Tony, is a_ really great _guy! You should_ totally _think about talking to him!_

Rogers is passed talking with Rhodey finding him rubbing one off against Tony. 

Maybe it was because he knew both of their feelings, maybe it was because he didn’t know how to be a stealthy wingman, but one late afternoon found him collapsing on the common room couch where Rogers was sketching. 

“So… Talking things out isn’t Tony’s thing," Rhodey said. 

“I’m starting to see," Rogers agreed. 

“You like him?” 

“I do.” 

“Didn’t you go behind enemy lines against superior's orders with a stolen plane, no backup, and no inherent plan?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Thought so. Time to get that bravo back, Cap,” Rhodey clapped Rogers’ knee before standing. “Take the dive, but don’t wear him out completely. We have a thing tomorrow.” 

That was good enough, right? 

"I'll... be careful then," Rogers said slowly. 

It was! 

"Good." Rhodey nodded and left a bewildered Steve Rogers in the living room. 

As he walked towards his room, the bet reappeared in his head and there was a thought that he shouldn’t have done that. 

Well… Tony had terrible memory; he probably didn’t even remember it. 

* * *

Rhodey was eating a late breakfast when Tony wandered inside. He fumbled for the fridge and opened to pull out a yogurt cup. He caught Tony telltale signs of a sleepless night with sex-fluffed hair, bruised spots on his neck, and a self-satisfied smile. 

“So where’s Steve?” Rhodey asked. 

“He had to go for his morning run,” Tony said, skipping the coy talk. “That’s his thing.” 

“You didn’t tire him out enough?” 

“Oh, I did. But… he gathers energy real fast.” 

Rhodey mimed hurling at the floor and Tony snickered. “Yeah, well, congrats on banging the American Dream.” 

“Correction, dating the American Dream. We're having dinner tomorrow night.” 

“Point still stands.” Rhodey took a sip of coffee before continuing. “You remember that we have that MIT guest speaker event this afternoon, right?” 

“JARVIS reminded me. And I’m _so_ glad you brought up MIT,” Tony said, settling into a chair. 

Rhodey felt his skin prickle and his heart pause before thumping erratically. “Oh? Why?” 

“This MIT thing made me think of memories of us… About the talks we used to have late at night…” 

Sweat wanted to develop at Rhodey’s temples. 

“And I remember one night we had a conversation… And we made a bet…” Tony’s grin was shark-like. “About what you’d do when I banged Captain America…” 

Rhodey’s face went flat and he shook his head. 

“Tones, no. No, no, no. I thought you forgot about that!” 

“I never forget bets.” 

“I was joking when I said those things!” 

The sharp grin didn’t fade. “You shook on it.” 

“I thought Captain America wasn’t around anymore! Tony, no. There’s no way I’m going to put on a stupid, ridiculous, idiotic, dumb--” 

* * *

“And now, may I welcome one of our keynote speakers, Tony Stark,” An MIT professor introduced, clapping her hands as Tony walked on stage. 

MIT students roared in approval, whistling, and clapping. 

Tony blew kisses out to the crowd. “Thank you, thank you. And may I please welcome my dear, _dear_ friend, Colonel James Rhodes of the United States Air Force.” 

Another wave of applause had a quick death as rubber chicken feet carried Rhodey into the center of the stage, displaying his garnish, yellow feathered chicken suit. 

Rhodey’s face was lifeless settled inside the rubber chicken’s mouth. 

One of the phones in the crowd didn’t turn off its flash. 

“I will say three things about this,” Rhodey announced. “One; yes, it is itchy, two; yes, it is hot, and three; don’t take bets from Tony Stark.”

**Author's Note:**

> *looks around the end of this fic and sees you* Wait, you actually kept reading?


End file.
